Monday, March 5, 2007

What Doesn't Work

There are a few responsese to "tougher to love" people that don't work.

I've tried them all. Repeatedly. They still don't work after the fourth or fifth time. (Remember that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?)

There are four responses that don't work:

1. Do nothing, ignore it.

2. Angry confrontation

3. Lord it over people

4. Prayerless words and actions

Every one of these responses just leaves you (and your group) in continued frustration.

What's been your experience?

2 comments:

Felicia Miedema said...

I have been very fortunate to have little experience with this type of people in the bible studies I've led, however I do recall one very needy woman who was very new to bible study and frequently raised questions that led the discussion on tangents. These were questions about how we knew the bible was accurate, why the Koran was not, what happened to people who didn't believe that Jesus was the only way to heaven, etc. They were vital questions, just not on topic for the study we were having. I sensed that her questions were frustrating to the other women in the study.

If I had it to do over again, I would have connected her with an experienced Christian woman who would be willing to enter into a basic Christianity study with her, but that option wasn't available at the time and I wasn't in a position to add such a meeting to my own schedule. Here is what I did: I set aside a week of our study for addressing these questions, let the entire group know we were doing this so that they could choose whether to attend, and I invited one of our pastors to be a "guest speaker" to address tough questions that were coming up in our study. I explained to the entire group that they should compile their questions prior to this session, and it would be an "open forum" format. After that session our focus would go back to our study topic.

The session was actually well attended by mature believers as well as women newer to bible study, and our pastor offered an "expert" perspective that I had not been able to provide. This approach was successful in this instance.

Felicia M

Glenn said...

Felicia, Bob,

Thanks for your comments and suggestions -- excellent ideas that I'm sure others can put into practice, also! -- Glenn